<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>gotong-royong by loupettes</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27442702">gotong-royong</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/loupettes/pseuds/loupettes'>loupettes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who (2005)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 02:22:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,839</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27442702</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/loupettes/pseuds/loupettes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>He’d noticed that she was faster to panic, since she’d found him. Not to this extent, and she wasn’t exactly sat waiting anxiously by the phone all day - well, apparently she was today, but in general, she wasn’t -, but she would reach for his hand in a busy place more frequently than he remembered, and at night she would wake from a nightmare and frantically search for him. He imagined it was for the same reason he waited up for her if she was coming back late, or he’d pay closer attention to their surroundings when they were out: they now knew what it was like to lose the other.</i>
</p><p>Tentoo x Rose, fluff (angst? Is that you?)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Metacrisis Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>gotong-royong</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Dialogue prompt: "I thought you were dead."</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He sighed; he was bloody <em>knackered</em>. What a day. Sometimes he missed those senses for time - although he did still have them, just to a lesser degree - because some days felt like many days rolled into one and it just didn’t add up. <em>This</em> was one of those days. He fumbled around in his pockets, trying to find his keys. <em>His sodding keys</em>, he always loses his sodding keys - Rose had tried everything to get him to remember and he <em>still</em> forgets them. He ran his hands through his hair, he must have left them upstairs on the side. He missed the TARDIS, being able to open those doors at the click of his fingers. </p><p>Ha! He’s got them. He felt his heart flutter with relief; Rose would still be at work so it would have been a long long night waiting for her to get home. Sad thing is, it wouldn’t be the first time. Also, why are Londoners so unfriendly? Maybe it was this London, because he’d met many rather friendly Londoners back in the other world. He lived in this block of flats with a fair few of them and not one of them thought to ask if he wanted a cup of tea inside while he waited. He checked the post: a few bills by the looks of it, a card with Jackie’s handwriting, probably a Christmas card she insisted on sending <em>even though </em>they were spending Christmas with them. Waste of a stamp. Have stamps always been this expensive? It would cost you less to deliver the letter yourself! He heard the ding of the lift and made a dash for it, catching it just in time. He stepped off on the 8th floor and stuck said thought-to-be-lost key in the door. </p><p>He smiled as it closed behind him, the familiar scent of home waiting for him. He’d picked up a couple of macarons for Rose on his way back, although she was working late so he’d have to stick them in the fridge. He was just about wondering what time she’d be getting home when she swung the door open. </p><p>“Oh my God! Where have you <em>been</em>!” </p><p>He didn’t have enough time to turn around before she slammed her body into his. He stammered back to accommodate the added weight, dropping her box of macarons on the floor. </p><p>“<em>Rose!</em>”</p><p>She was trembling, and he could feel her heart was near beating out of her chest. She held onto him tightly; he lifted his arm up in an attempt to elongate himself and manoeuvre around to hold her better, but for some unknown reason she was clinging on to him with everything she had. “Hey, come on, what’s happened? What’s wrong?”</p><p>“I thought you were dead!” she choked - hang on, was she crying?</p><p><em>“What?</em> Why on Earth would you think that?” he said, bewildered as he continued his efforts to breathe in the grip she had so tightly of him. “Am I that much of a liability you can’t trust me to get home unharmed? I've only gotten the wrong train home once. Granted, it took me to Crewe so it was a <em>very</em> wrong train to catch, but other than that I seem to be doing alright.” But the joke fell flat; she was too focused on how tightly she could ensure he would stay with her.</p><p>“Why didn’t you answer your phone!”</p><p>“I didn’t hear it ring! I’m sorry! Rose, just tell me what’s happened?” </p><p>He gave up trying to turn around to hold her properly, so he wrapped himself around her as they stood, dreadfully uncomfortable and really reinforcing how much he needed to start going to yoga with Rose, but he went for it. As soon as he yielded, as soon as she felt him embrace her back, she shifted to make them more comfortable, sighing when the pieces of their puzzle finally fit together perfectly, still not showing him her face as she buried it deep into his chest.</p><p>“You didn’t hear it <em>ring</em>? God, how many times have I told you to keep your phone on loud!”</p><p>He quite obviously wasn’t going to get an understanding as to why she was near hysterics, but hearing her sobs against his heart was enough to drive him into fierce protection mode, holding her head close to him and kissing the top of her hair. He really wished he could control his heart like he used to so he could at least concentrate better on calming her down, as opposed to so uselessly panicking that he couldn’t calm her. He did the next best thing; he breathed her in, letting <em>her</em> filter through his senses and bring him an overwhelming sense of safety, holding on to the thought of knowing that he was here, with her, in their flat, <em>loving</em> her, and having her love him in return. Only when he was calm could he do the same for her.</p><p>“What <em>happened?”</em> he whispered into her hair after a few minutes and she’d stilled, besides the occasional involuntary twitch following her deep sobs.</p><p>“It’s all over the news,” she mumbled into his jacket. </p><p>“What’s all over the news?”</p><p>“There’s been an explosion, right outside work. Dad’s fine - I’ve been able to get in touch with everyone but <em>you!”</em></p><p>She pulled back, finally looking at him and he watched her expression relax as she took him in. He released her, although she kept holding on to him, so that he could hold her face in his hands and kiss her forehead, wiping away the stray tear with his thumb. He was about to ask but she continued.</p><p>“There’s reports it was an attack on parliament.”</p><p>“Has anyone been hurt?”</p><p>“They said 2 people have died a few were injured.” She leaned back into him.</p><p>“Oh my god,” he mumbled. Truth be told, he wanted to leave London. Well, it wasn’t that he didn’t like it, he loved it actually. And they needed to be here to grow the TARDIS safely. They shouldn’t have too much longer now, they’d been growing her for just under a year. But he yearned for the stars; as much as he rather enjoyed the wonderful domesticity of a human life, living in a large city with a big fat bullseye over it was not the kind of danger he meant when he said he liked a bit of danger in his life.   </p><p>He tapped Rose on the head. “And you automatically thought “<em>not answering his phone, must be dead</em>”, when we both know I never answer my phone anyway?” </p><p>“Well, Dad said he hadn’t seen you since you left at 4, so I was expecting you home nearly two hours ago!”</p><p>“I went to get you macarons!”</p><p>“You could’ve called!”</p><p>“”<em>Hi love, just going to get some macarons to surprise you with, see you later, with a box of macarons. That are a surprise.</em>””</p><p>“Doctor,” she whispered. He wasn’t sure what it was about this that had made her <em>so</em> afraid, but he rubbed his hand soothingly up and down her back, only more purposefully when she stirred in distress. But this wasn’t unlike her, though. He’d noticed that she was faster to panic since she’d found him<em>. </em>Not to this extent, and she wasn’t exactly sat waiting anxiously by the phone all day - well, apparently she was today, but in general, she wasn’t -, but she would reach for his hand in a busy place more frequently than he remembered, and at night she would wake from a nightmare and frantically search for him. He imagined it was for the same reason he waited up for her if she was coming back late, or he’d pay closer attention to their surroundings when they were out: they now knew what it was like to lose the other.</p><p>“Where are these macarons?”</p><p>He chuckled, relieved; he’d got her back. “I’m so sorry…”</p><p>She jerked away, looking around them before gasping at the floor. “Oh, no!”</p><p>“Well, the <em>good</em> news is, I’m alive.”</p><p>“But, the macarons!”</p><p>He grinned, taking off his jacket and hanging it on the coat rack. “She loves me, I know she does, she loves me really.“</p><p>When he turned around, she was looking at him nervously still. “God, I can’t bear the thought of being without you again.” </p><p>Seeing Rose worried or afraid in any way triggered an automatic reflex to bring her closer to him and it wasn’t long until she was there, back once more with her head resting against his chest and his arms fastened securely around her. “This has really got to you, hmm?”</p><p>“Well, don’t you ever think about it? How awful it was to lose each other? What it would be like to have to lose me all over again?”</p><p>“I try <em>not </em>to, considering this time it’s not a given that I always will.”</p><p>Wrong thing to say, he realised, as she held on to him tighter groaning in anguish. She was right, and he was lying; he thought about it every day. Losing her would be... well. As he said: he tried not to think about it, but he knows it would kill him. But he also knows there’s a version of him out there, in another world, who already had to lose her again. He was hoping maybe this him here, now, might be treated kinder by this universe. That maybe the misfortune and the suffering stuck with the other one. </p><p>“Just, stay with me at home tomorrow, yeah?” she mumbled jokingly into his chest, but he heard the honesty in her request. </p><p>“Listen, how about I chop one of my fingers off and we keep it in a jar, keep cloning myself in case anything does go wrong?” </p><p>“Mmm.” She pulled back to look at him. “Or how about we do that <em>anyway</em> and then I can have as many of you as I’d like.”</p><p>“Now, behave.”</p><p>“Could have a couple to help keep the flat clean - ”</p><p>“You’ve already got three of me spanning across multiple time periods and universes - ”</p><p>“Have one of them do the laundry - ”</p><p>“I do the laundry anyway.”</p><p>“One or two to make the nights longer - ”</p><p>“I think <em>seven</em> <em>times</em> in one night is rather impressive, now that I’m one heart down.”</p><p>She chuckled and murmured flirtatiously in agreement. “No, I only want one of you. And I want <em>this </em>one.”</p><p>He still doubted it, every now and then. He thinks he probably always will. Not like she ever gave him a reason to; no, he felt her love him with everything she had. But he’ll always wonder how this girl he met in the basement of a department store chose to say yes to him, how she stayed with him through his darker days, how she continued to love him even after he’d changed everything about him, how she tirelessly fought her way through the universes to get back to <em>him </em>and yet it was <em>this</em> him she chose. “Yeah?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>